Forgive me

It's a disconnection, in this busy world our timing is out. I haven't made time for you, Lucy.
We circle each other,
we bump, quite often superfluously,
but I haven't stopped,
stop to look in your eyes,
stroke your hair ,
or even just whisper the three little words, I love you.

It can happen to anyone, I was too distracted in my own bubble. It happened to me.

Has it been getting worse? I don’t know, like I said, I was too selfish, to notice. Bubble wrapped in my little cocoon.

I’m listening to Pink singing

“I'm sorry I don't understand, where all of this is coming from, I thought that we were fine..”

“… we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again.”

Clearly something is not right.

It’s started off fine, this Sunday morning. We were rolling around in bed, sharing a little intimacy, but my mind was assaulted with a million things I had to do that day. Without giving it a second thought, I leapt out of bed and grabbed my gym gear. As I was about to close the front door, I hear you shout, “We don’t fuck anymore.”

That stopped me in my tracks.
I could hear the barking of the neighbor’s dog,
the sounds in the apartment block as people start their morning ritual.

That hit me, square in the chest.
I dropped my gear, closed the door, and return to the bedroom.
You are looking at me, that accusation hung in the air, and it is true.
I’ve been stupid, negligent.

Dropping to my knees, beside you, “Please forgive me. There's no excuse for my stupidity and insensitivity.”

You remained silent, then turned your back to me. You wouldn’t even look at me.

I haven’t cried for a while but I broke down there and then, tears welled up in my eyes and streaked down my face. I ran to the bathroom and sobbed behind the closed door.

“We don’t fuck anymore.” This from my soulmate, the woman I love, need and want. I still remember waking up and looking at your naked body yesterday, asleep beside me, falling in love with you over and over again.

I need to reconnect, to reaffirm that connection. I approach the bed, and I can see your body racking with silent sobs. It’s all my fault, I reach out and touch your shoulder, expecting you to scream, “Don’t touch me.” but you didn’t.

"Sometimes I don’t think about how you feel, I’m grateful when you point it out. It hurts, but I learn. To be honest, I’ve never been in a relationship like ours, the only word to describe it is ‘real’. All my other online relationships have been superficial. None of my ex’s have invested what you have into this relationship. " I say.

You turn and look at me. A tear runs down your cheek towards the pillow. I reach out and catch it before it’s forever lost in the sheets. We don’t speak, I lean forward, our foreheads touch. All the intimacy, love and affection come flooding back.

I brush you hair back from your face, and look into your gorgeous eyes, reminiscing about all those times I’ve drowned in them. We kiss, I can taste our tears, and your lips have never felt so soft and inviting. My tongue slips between your parted lips, to be welcomed. It feels so good, as our tongues dance together like they did not too long ago, like they are meant to...

You pull me into bed and move on top of me. Your knee between my thighs and your breasts floating in front of my eyes. Your dark hair hangs down tickling my face. I’m kissing you, not just your lips but your neck, your face, your closed eyes, your breasts. I can feel your nipples getting hard with my kisses. I squeeze them between my lips, interspersed with occasional bites.

You open your eyes and stare into mine.

I’m drowning again like old times.You unzip my track top, pulling it off. I was planning to change at the gym, I have nothing under that. My nipples are protruding, hard and erect. Sliding down between my legs, you pull at my track pants. I arch my back and lift my butt off the bed, and in one smooth movement, you remove my pants and panties. Your mouth finds its way to my pussy.

I see hungry eyes peering up over my fleshy mound; I feel your tongue moving along my exposed slit. I moan, you laugh. Holding your head, I push my pelvis forward, pressing my wet cunt against your mouth.

“Slow down love,” you murmur. I can feel your fingers pulling open my lips,
trace up along the inside fold,
then down along the outside. I close my eyes as you slip two fingers inside and start pressing on my G-spot.

"Ohh God, " I whisper. You say nothing but continue to slide your fingers in and out, your tongue drawing circles around my swollen clit. I am so aroused, so close to my climax.

You stop and say, "Masturbate and finger yourself. “ I needed little encouragement, I close my eyes and start rubbing my clit with my thumb and fucking myself with my index and middle finger.

I smell your pussy before I see it, as you lower yourself on my mouth, facing down my body so you can enjoy watching me masturbate. My nose is buried in your gorgeous ass. I lick, from pussy to ass and back.

I need to cum. Now! Hard!

My face is buried between your legs and my mouth is devouring you like a delicious fruit, savoring and greedily tasting your nectar. Your press yourself against my face, grinding your ass against my nose and face. I’m now desperate, my momentum is building, and my fingers dig deep inside my pussy.

You instinctively know, I’m toppling over the edge. Leaning down, removing my fingers, you cover my hole with your mouth. I orgasm and as I’m shaking and squirting, I feel a jet of warm liquid across my face and mouth.

We’re cumming together as one.